Chef Messy

monday, monday, monday

It is Monday, right?  I'm having a hard time keeping my days straight lately.

Today:

Jonah woke up at 5 a.m. and screamed for 2 hours straight because he had a "yucky nose" and also because he wanted M&M's.  This is the second time this week that Jonah has had a 5 a.m. M&M's tantrum.  Lucky for me, Ryan is on Jonah duty right now.  Poor Ryan.

Jonah also had a complete meltdown a few days ago when a FedEx box came and instead of having cakepops, it had a breastpump part.  I have no idea why he thought the FedEx man would be bringing us a box of cakepops.

I am starting to wonder about almost two-year-old logic.

I am starting to wonder if breastfeeding is possibly pointless.  Is it really worth sticking it out when the only feedback I am getting from the breastfeeding experts is, "Well, maybe someday she will get it..."?  Also, I am really starting to hate all things Medela.

And yet, I am really sad that this isn't going well.  Part of it is a stubbornness thing.  I hate to be defeated by breastfeeding twice (even though I don't see a lick of difference between the health/brains/development of my two boys).  And although I didn't expect to like it with Jonah, I was actually sad when he finally quit.

I have 8 loads of laundry sitting in my hallway.

My sink is overflowing with dishes.

I have already changed seven diapers today.

I still haven't eaten breakfast.

Jonah has no pants on because he has no pants.

And I am still in my pajamas.

My cell phone is beeping at me again because I still haven't figured out where I put my cell phone charger when I got home from the hospital.

My dog has lost all of her brain cells.  I am seriously debating sending her to a new home if she doesn't find them quickly.  My mom once had a dog that ran away out of frustration over a new baby.  How horrible is it that I sometimes wish Maggie would run away lately?  She is being completely neurotic and annoying and generally bad.                         

Mostly, all of the above is happening because I refuse to put this baby down.  I love her.  Laundry will wait.  Pajamas are fine.  Dogs are dogs.

Why do babies only stay newborns long enough to blink?  It's so sad.  I think pregnancy needs to go faster and the newborn phase needs to go slower.

She sleeps ALL OF THE TIME.  Like, seriously, she never wakes up.

OK, she woke up long enough for me to take this picture.

Also, this one...

But, mostly, she is almost always asleep.

Also, is it a boy/girl thing that she is super quiet and mellow when the boys definitely weren't?

Jonah disappeared this morning.  I couldn't find him anywhere.  I was actually starting to panic.  And then I found him.  Here.

He had crawled into Matthew's closet, closed the doors, made himself a nest on the floor out of his blankie, and was nearly asleep when I found him.

It's the ugliest blankie ever, one we got as a gift from great-grandma when he was a newborn, but it has always been his favorite.  He calls it his "night night."  He is currently having yet another meltdown, this time over his blankie being in the washer, where he can't get it.  He is banging on my laundry room door and screaming, "I see night-night!  I see night-night now!  Mom!!!  Moooommmmmmeeeee!!!!"

I have explained to him that it's dirty and needs washed.  Again with the almost-two-year-old logic.

I remember Matthew being oddly attached to an ugly blanket at this age, too.

I have eaten way too much of this in the last two days...

Here's the recipe.

I just read this book, and it is great.  Especially if you have read A Wrinkle In Time, which was my favorite book as a kid.

I also read this book.  I didn't love it.

And now I'm going to read this book.

When you spend all of your time breastfeeding and pumping, you have a lot of time to read.

That's all.  I'm going to do something productive now.  Like laundry.  And more pumping.  Joy.

Happy Monday.

 

no whizzpopping allowed

Matthew's school class just finished reading The BFG by Roald Dahl.  The BFG was one of my favorite books as a kid, and Matthew and I read it several months ago.  It's such a great book!  Yesterday, they had a BFG party at school, and I brought Snozzcumber Sandwiches and Frobscottle for treats.  I'm going to guess that not a single kid in his class would touch either one, but I still thought it was fun.  If you want to make your own BFG treats, here's what you need.

Snozzcumber Sandwiches

Mini rye party bread
Boursin cheese (1 package is enough for about 20 sandwiches; regular cream cheese would work here, too.)
Cucumber slices
Chopped dill

Assembly should be obvious here.

Frobscottle

6-8 kiwi fruit
2 6-oz. containers raspberry yogurt
1 quart lemonade
8 oz. vanilla creme soda (or sprite, in a pinch)

Blend everything but the soda in a blender.  Stir in the soda and serve.

Enjoy!

for the day after...

So, you have more boiled eggs than you know what to do with.

And, if you are like me, your boiled eggs are wild shades of pink, orange, and brown, clear down to the yolk (and yet still taste like boiled eggs, mysteriously).

You can make this.

You're welcome.

you say hippies. i say scientists.

When I told people that Matthew and I were going to try out natural egg dyeing this year for Easter, people either looked at us like we were nuts or said stuff like, "Wow.  You guys are hippies."

But we were looking at it more as a science experiment.

Take beets, for example.  What color of eggs would beets make?  Maybe pink?  Red?

Or onion skins.  Onions aren't particularly colorful, right?  But the skins make a gorgeous sienna dye.  Who knew?

So, we piled a bunch of random fruits and veggies into pots and boiled them until their color bled into the water.

And then we threw them into some mason jars with vinegar and boiled eggs, and we left them in the fridge overnight to see what would happen.

For this experiment, we used turmeric (the easiest of the bunch because it didn't need to be cooked), coffee, beets, strawberries, red and yellow onion skins, carrots, and blueberries.

Can you guess which eggs came from which dye?

The onion skin eggs (the bright orange ones) are my favorite.  I hear that if you use just red onions, your eggs will be a deep blood red.  Definitely going to try that next year.  Carrots and strawberries (the bottom five eggs) were less successful.

So, now the next science question...

Will our eggs taste like coffee, turmeric, beets, onions, etc.?

what, you don't have pie for breakfast at your house?

My mother-in-law makes the awesomest pies.  Last weekend, I watched her during her pie-making process (which, of course, is going on while she makes eighteen other different kinds of food).  And then I distracted her by blabbing on about something or other and made her burn her first set of pie crusts.  And then, like five minutes later, she had them all made again.  No big deal.  The woman has seriously mastered pies.

I have not mastered pies.  But I like to try anyway.  Channel my inner Maria Elena, you know.  We have lots of blueberries around, so why not?

Here's one trick I have learned from Maria Elena.  Roll your crust out between two sheets of waxed paper.  You don't have to use flour, and it makes it really easy to flop the whole thing over into the pan without it breaking.

If you put foil or a pie crust protector around the edges, it will keep them from getting too brown.  I don't know the trick for keeping your filling from bubbling out and spilling all over the place.  I'm not going to be able to use my oven for a week.

And then feed it to your kids for breakfast!  What, you don't do that?

Blueberry pie.  It's totally a fruit.  And also a member of the grain family.  Therefore, breakfast.

Blueberry Pie

Pastry for 9-inch double-crust pie (Usually I use this recipe.  This time I didn't.  And then I was sad.)
16 ounces of fresh blueberries (crush them up a bit so that you have some juice for the sugar to stick to, or you can use a bag of frozen blueberries, thawed)
1 cup granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 Tablespoons cornstarch

Roll out pastry for bottom crust and line pie pan.  Roll out pastry for top crust, fold in half, and cut three 1/2-inch slits through both layers of crust, then set aside.  Pour berries and juice into a large mixing bowl.  In a separate bowl, mix sugar, salt, and cornstarch; pour on top of berries.  Mix well with a rubber spatula.

Fill crust.  Moisten edge of pie crust with water.  Add top crust and seal.  Brush with milk and sprinkle with sugar.  Bake at 375 for 45 to 50 minutes, or until golden brown.

Enjoy!

bill and nat's awesome kettle corn

Anyone watch the Oscar's last weekend?  I seriously have a huge list of movies I want to watch now, so we will probably have a movie night tonight with some awesome homemade popcorn!

A few weeks ago, our church women's group had a "Back to Basics" night where we swapped easy recipes, cleaning tips, money savers, and just general good advice on simplifying life a little bit.  (There were SO many good ideas handed out, and I may be posting some of those over the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned.)  This one, in particular, is my family's new favorite.  My friend Natalie is the queen of all things domestic, and she handed out a whole list of recipes, including her husband's stovetop kettle corn recipe.  It is seriously SO yummy!  You have got to try it, even if you are intimidated by cooking popcorn on top of the stove.  I have been an air-popping die-hard since I was a little girl.  (We grew up on a weekly dinner at my grandma's house of air-popped popcorn with butter and salt, swished down with a big glass of orange juice, of all things!)  No microwaving here.  (Did you know microwaved popcorn can actually cause black lung disease!?  It's true!)  So, I was a little nervous about popping in a pan.  It's supposed to be hard, right?  Isn't that exactly why they invented air-poppers?

But it actually isn't difficult at all, and I've decided that this is the ONLY way to do kettle corn.  I've seriously never had kettle corn this good.

You don't have to have a special pan for this.  If you have a good pot with a lid, you can just hold the lid down tight and give it a good shake every now and then.  But a popcorn pot with a lid that clamps down, a crank that stirs, and a handle for shaking makes really easy work of this.  Mine is a West Bend variety that I got at Shopko here in Pocatello, but I think you can get them all over the place.  And then, of course, you have to have a cute popcorn bowl to go with it!  (Ours was a wedding gift nearly a decade ago that has been well-used and loved, but I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find a similar one.)

Without further ado, here is Bill and Nat's awesome popcorn recipe.

Bill and Nat's Stovetop Kettle Corn

1/4 cup oil (I used canola.)
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup popcorn
kosher salt (way better than regular table salt)

In a large pot, heat oil on medium-high heat.  When oil is hot, add the popcorn and sugar.  Pop the popcorn, shaking often until popping nearly stops.  Empty popcorn into large bowl and quickly shake some salt over it to your liking.  Stir.  Enjoy!

Natalie tells me it's really easy to play around with this recipe.  Her 12-year-old son pops his popcorn with just oil and then adds green tabasco sauce to it!  If I am ever adventurous enough to try this variation, I will let you know!

Thanks again, Natalie!  We've been seriously loving this recipe!

kitchen failures

Smoked pear cake, anyone?

We've had a whole variety of setbacks around here over the last couple of days.  Yesterday, while making this pear cake, I tried to burn our house down.  The recipe said "cook in a bundt pan," but I don't have a bundt pan, so I said, "No big deal, I'll just cook it in a springform pan," which was a stupid idea.  It leaked all over the oven floor and smoked up our whole house.  Stupid springform pan.

So, I spent all morning doing this.  Awesome.

Why don't I own a bundt pan, anyway?  This cake would probably be really good if it didn't remind me of kissing a cigar-smoker.  And yet, I don't know for sure, so I'm not going to put the recipe down until I know one way or another.

guess what i'm doing today

I don't know exactly how I accumulated 18 pounds of apples.  But they've been taken care of.

Applesauce
(makes about 9 pints or 4 quarts)

12 pounds of apples (use a mix of sweet and sour for tasty applesauce--I used fujis, galas, granny smith, and some unknown variety)
4 Tbs. lemon juice
3 cups sugar

Peel and core the apples (there is a tool for this that makes life much easier) and put them in a bowl of water with some fruit preserve mixed in.  Put the apples in a big pot with just enough water to keep them from sticking. Bring to a boil and cook for five or ten minutes, until apples are tender.  Let them cool for a few minutes.

Fish out the apples with a slotted spoon and run them through a food mill, or just mash them with a potato masher if you like your applesauce chunky.

Put the apples back into the pot with the sugar (which is optional, by the way) and the lemon juice.  Bring to a boil (just to dissolve the sugar) and then pour it into clean jars, leaving a half inch of head space.  Process them in a water bath canner for 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

we like to eat here

Hey, Pocatello-ites.  Have you tried the Pie Hole yet?  You should.  A lot of locals lamented the passing of Food For Thought (OK, mostly girls lamented the passing of Food For Thought, because they mostly served salads.  I, for one, could never actually get my husband to go there.) and were sad that it was turning into a pizza place, but I think it's the best thing that has happened to Pocatello in a long time.

Because they have skateboard chairs!  And graffiti!

 

Also really good pizza.  And, by the way, I think this is the only existing photo of the four of us together.  Maybe I'll hang it on my wall...

Maybe not.

Grandpa came along with us, so the boys were happy.

This was Grandpa's first trip to the Pie Hole, so, yeah, big day for Grandpa.

"Yeah, I've been here before.  No big deal.  Yeah, I can eat an entire piece all by myself.  So, what?"

Also, there are chalkboards.  I love restaurants with chalkboards!

I wonder if the Pie Hole guys have noticed that every time we come in, there is a gigantic drawing of the Titanic hitting an iceberg when we leave.  I wonder if they think we are weird.

Seriously.  Every time.  I keep suggesting new drawings.  Even new drawings about the Titanic.  "Hey, Matthew, instead of drawing the Titanic hitting the iceberg, why don't you draw a picture of Evel Knievel jumping his motorcycle over the Titanic?  Or draw the Titanic being eaten by a mutant dinosaur whale."  No luck so far.

One last thing.  Pie Hole is inexpensive at best, but if you go between 2 and 4 p.m., it's buy one slice get one free.  Our whole family can pig out for less than eight bucks!

Go try it!  Super fun place.

Thanks, by the way, for all of the baby wishes!  Your comments yesterday completely made my day.  It is so great to have so many people cheering us on.  So appreciated.

last-minute everything

If, hypothetically, Mrs. Santa had lost 10 pounds over the last month, but then ate all of Santa's allotted Christmas gingersnaps (which, of course, Santa is not that into), and then the rest of the pan besides, and then made another batch besides, and ate that, too, would it just be better to make a different kind of cookie for Santa next year?  For Mrs. Santa's sake?  Hypothetically?

In other news, in true Kendell/Petersen family tradition, we've still got last-minute gifts going on.

He wanted to put "Dad is awesome," but there wasn't room for that.

And a very, very last-minute trip to see Santa Claus, who we caught literally as he was about to head out and hitch up his sleigh.

Jonah was not impressed.

I'll see you back after the holiday.  Hope you have a very merry one with your friends and family, and that you have lots of good treats.  Hopefully gingersnaps.

being vicariously awesome through my friend tara

I went to a church shindig a couple of nights ago, where they handed out these.

Completely awesome, right?  My friend Tara made them (same Tara of the easy pumpkin recipe fame--everybody is making these cookies lately).  They were too amazing not to post, even though I didn't make them.  I'm thinking I might have to whip up a batch of these for my family's Thanksgiving dinner.  The kiddos would love them!

Here's your shopping list:

chocolate-covered graham crackers
fudge-stripe cookies
peanut butter cups (the small kind)
rolo candies
candy corn
mini chocolate chips
melted hershey's kisses to glue it all together

Tara, you are amazing.  Please adopt me.

In other news, Matthew is happy that I have finally taken a photo of Mr. Turkey so that he can eat him.

pumpkin pie for breakfast

Well, if I didn't get any scandalized hippy-dippy granola parents the other day when I gave Jonah hot cocoa in his bottle, I'll certainly get them today.  Because this morning I totally fed Jonah pumpkin pie for breakfast.

When he started breakfast, he looked like this.

"Whole grains, Mom? Are you kidding me?"

And it's not like I have pie hanging around my kitchen every day.  Yesterday was the first grade Thanksgiving feast, and my assignment was to bring a pumpkin pie.  I almost bought a pumpkin pie, even though it's against my principles, because, hello, they are first graders.  They can't tell the difference between WalMart and Lion House.  But I couldn't bring myself to do it, because A) why spend money on something I have all the ingredients for in my house, B) why go to the store when everything is at my house, C) the first graders won't know the difference, but I, on the other hand, will totally know that I sent a Walmart pie somewhere that people were actually going to eat it.  Yuck.

And you can't just bake one pie, because pie crust recipes make TWO crusts!

....which may be the REAL reason I baked when I could have gone simple and bought.  Bonus pie!  Hooray!

So, that is why I have pumpkin pie at my house even though Thanksgiving is a week away.  Then, this morning, I said, "What the heck, pumpkin is definitely a veggie."  And I fed Jonah pie.  And he was super happy.  The end.

Here is my pie recipe.  Sometimes I make it without the crust, in little glass bowls, just for the custard.  Yummm....

Pumpkin Pie

pastry for 1-crust pie (I always use this recipe.  It makes two.  If you want to make two pies, just double everything below, which is actually almost closer to filling for three pies, but you can bake the leftover in glass custard bowls.)
1 1/2 cups canned pumpkin
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. allspice
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 Tbs. cornstarch
2 eggs
1 cup evaporated milk
1 cup water
whipped cream for topping

Put pumpkin in a large mixing bowl.  In a separate bowl, mix together cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, sugar, brown sugar, salt, and cornstarch.  Add to the pumpkin and mix until blended.  Add eggs and evaporated milk and mix until incorporated.  Add water and mix well.  Pour into an unbaked pie shell and bake at 375 for 50-60 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.  Cool, top with whipped cream, and serve.

Enjoy!  Now you are all ready for Thanksgiving!  (I'm happy to eat rice and beans for Thanksgiving, but I won't go without pie!)