Chef Messy

a thing or two about a thing or two

1. These are the Valentines that Matthew made for his class this year.  I have two really good reasons for not posting them until now.

2. Here's reason number one, a little valentine gift from our friendly neighborhood pathologist Steve.

 

Last week I had a gall bladder.  This week I don't.  This is what's left of it.  I'm much enjoying the fact that these are in a jar and not in my body where they were wreaking enough havoc to land me in the emergency room at 4 a.m.

I would also like to add that I no longer possess any unnecessary organs.  My friend Dan tells me that I'll go on thinking this is well and good until I find out that the unnecessary organs were the source of all my superpowers.

3. Here's reason two.

 

I don't get a lot done these days, and when I do get it done I don't have much time to blog about it.  Time is flying.  Someone asked me the other day if I had been watching the Olympics, to which I had to respond, "What? The Olympics are on right now?"  I can't remember the last time I spent more than ten minutes watching TV.

Jonah is four months now.  The little whopper is up to a gigantic eleven pounds, which lands him at a percentile score of zero-point-zero-zero.  This means that 100% of babies are bigger than Jonah.  And that is why he is starting cereal.  Here's what he thinks about that.

Yay! People food!

In other four-month-old news, Jonah now laughs, gives kisses (big, wet, slobbery ones), rolls from his belly to his back (but not vice versa, not so much because he can't, but because he won't), refuses to get out of mom's bed, and still wants to party all night long.  He is great fun, and, anyways, isn't everything funnier when you're sleep deprived?

That's what I tell myself at the third wake-up call of the night.

4. Matthew reported to a relative that he went on a date.  With "his woman."

It wasn't really a date.  It was just sledding in our neighborhood.  There was no smooching, hugging, or hand-holding, and all activities were chaperoned by two moms and a protective brother.

Still, I think it's cute that he has a crush.  Plus, it makes him less wimpy on the sledding hill, and I'm all for that.

5. While I was recovering from surgery, we made a pocket monster.

I try to give him stuff to make so that he doesn't destroy the house while I'm busy doing other things.  I'm thinking, though, that if he can figure out how to put together a pocket monster, he ought to be able to figure out how to scrub a toilet, and sweep the floor, and fold the laundry, and cook me dinner, and...

What, like you didn't have kids for exactly those reasons?

6. And I caught up on some other things.

What?  You mean it's been four months since you gave me that gift?  I don't believe you.

7. And I made some good food...

 

...which we may or may not have eaten on ugly, plastic IKEA plates.

 

Three words: Bread Dough from the dairy section, pressed garlic, egg whites, and italian seasoning.

Plus salami and italian dressing.

OK, that was way more than three words.

Also, the dishes from the yummy food may or may not still be in my sink.

8. Ryan rebuilt my computer again today.

And I do swear that I did not wonder for even one teeny tiny millisecond if he would destroy all of my files in the process.

Nope, I didn't.

Which is good, because all of my files seem to be here, and now I have the ferrari of computers.  You should see how fast photoshop can do a radial blur on this humdinger.

You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, do you.

9. Ryan also brought me flowers for Valentine's Day.

Even though we promised no gifts.  He always cheats, but he's a good soul.

The flowers may or may not still be in the plastic wrap in the wrong sized vase on my kitchen counter.

10. I may or may not have time to blog again until my children leave for college.  Just sayin'.

it's not like i actually need caramels for any reason, i just refuse to be defeated

Every year before Christmas, I make a bunch of Christmas candy.  This year I had a day when Jonah was taking a long nap, I had nothing else to get done, and I had all the ingredients at hand for about five different kinds of treats.  It was the perfect day for making goodies.

First, I spent thirty minutes stirring only for my caramels to go to hard.  Apparently the outside temperature can affect what temperature your candy will finish at.  Who knew?  Not me.  I have NEVER had my candy not turn out!

Then, my gingersnaps went flat.  I have only baked this gingersnap recipe successfully about a dozen times.  Apparently, that isn't enough.

After that, I was mad, and I gave up.  And then I got too busy, and so the candy never got made.

So a few days after Christmas I decided to give it another go.  And this time they are perfect.

 

I don't need them.  I wish someone else would come and eat them.  But I love them.

Christmas Caramels

1 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 14-oz can sweetened condensed milk
dash of salt

Combine ingredients in heavy pan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with wooden spoon until temperature reaches soft-ball state on candy thermometer (about 15 minutes). Pour into buttered 7x11'' pan. Cool, cut into squares, and wrap in wax paper. Makes about 75 pieces.

Enjoy!

eggs florentine get wacky with waffles

I'm generally a cold cereal kindof girl, but we're trying to eat more protein for breakfast at our house.  This one is a good reason to get up and cook eggs.

 

Eggs Florentine Get Wacky with Waffles
from Yum-O

2 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 Tablespoons butter
1/2 small onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
salt and freshly ground pepper
1 10-ounce box frozen chopped spinach, defrosted and excess water squeezed out in a kitchen towel
freshly grated nutmeg
1 Tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup chicken stock
4 frozen whole-grain waffles
4 slices Canadian bacon
8 eggs
hot sauce (optional)
1 vine-ripe tomato, cut in 4 slices
1 cup grated swiss cheese

Preheat the broiler to high.  Set the rack in the second slot from the top.

In a medium skillet, heat 1 Tablespoon of the olive oil and 1 Tablespoon of the butter over medium-high heat.  Once the butter has melted, add the onions and garlic and season with a little salt and pepper.  Cook, stirring every now and then, for 2 to 3 minutes or until the onions start to get tender.  Add the spinach and season with a little nutmeg and stir to combine.  Sprinkle the spinach mixture with the flour and cook, stirring, for 1 minute.  Add the milk and chicken stock and bring up to a bubble.  Simmer the mixture until thick, 3 to 4 minutes, then cover and keep warm off the heat.

While the spinach mixture is cooking, toast up the frozen waffles.

Place a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat with the remaining tablespoon of olive oil.  Add the Canadian bacon and cook on each side for 1 to 2 minutes, until lightly browned.  Transfer to a plate and cover to keep warm.  Return the skillet to medium-low heat and add the remaining tablespoon of butter.  While the butter melts, beat the eggs with a splash of water, some salt and pepper, and a couple dashes of hot sauce, if you like.  Add the eggs to the skillet and scramble to your preferred doneness.

To serve, place a slice of the Canadian bacon on top of each toasted whole-grain waffle.  Top with some of the spinach mixture, then eggs, a tomato slice, and cheese.  Slide under the broiler for a couple of minutes to melt the cheese.

Enjoy!

spiced apple cider

It's Sunday evening and both kids are asleep.  The whole house is quiet.  And I just had a big mug of homemade spiced apple cider and chatted with Ryan without being interrupted.

 

Bliss.

Here's how to make your own.

Spiced Apple Cider

3 quarts apple cider
10 whole allspice
12 whole cloves
1 Tablespoon crystallized ginger
10 cinnamon sticks
3/4 cup packed brown sugar

Bring apple cider and spices to boil in a large pot.  Reduce heat to medium low, add sugar, and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes.

Enjoy.

is it a cookie? or is it fudge?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure this will be the one that makes me gain back the baby weight over Christmas.  I made these to welcome a new neighbor that just moved in across the street (they only take about ten minutes to make, by the way, if you are needing a quick treat).  And then the neighbor went out of town before I could drop them off.  And now they are sitting on my counter.  Taunting me.  Those neighbors need to come back, quick!

S'more Fudge

6 graham crackers, finely crushed
4 Tablespoons butter, melted
1 1/3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup sweetened condensed milk (and then you can use the leftovers to make hot chocolate!)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups mini marshmallows
2 more graham crackers, coarsely crushed

Line an 8x8-inch pan with foil; spray bottom with cooking spray.  Mix finely crushed cracker crumbs with butter and press into bottom of pan.  Melt chocolate chips and sweetened condensed milk over low heat.  Remove from heat and stir in vanilla; pour over crust.  Press marshmallows into warm chocolate and sprinkle coarsely crushed graham crackers on top.  Chill for 3 hours, remove foil, and cut into bars.

matthew's apple raisin muffin recipe

Matthew is almost getting to the point where he can bake things himself.  He knows how to measure.  He knows how to read the recipe.  If you leave him to crack his own eggs, it's likely that you are going to eat shell, but other than that he doesn't do too bad.  He baked a batch of apple raisin muffins a day or so ago, with only minimal help from me, and they actually turned out pretty tasty.

And I'm all for Matthew taking over the baking.  I'm all for Matthew taking over a lot of household jobs.  That's why people have kids, right?  So they can train them as servants.  Tiny, cheerful, unpaid servants.  Serfs, if you will.

Matthew's favorite part is running the "apple machine."  I have to fight him for this job even when I'm doing my own baking.

I will not admit to swiping any of his sugared apples while he stirred the dry ingredients...

 

Doesn't look too appetizing at this point, does it.  It kindof reminds me of...

 

Nevermind.

I have no idea why, but whenever Matthew sits on the counter, he calls it "having a day."

Before baking...

 

Mmmm, and after.



And here's the recipe.  Enjoy!

Apple Raisin Muffins

2 cups apples, peeled cored, and finely diced (about 3 medium apples)
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup canola oil
2 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup raisins
1/4 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 375.  Spray 12 muffin cups with cooking spray.

Place apples and sugar in medium bowl and toss together.  In a large measuring cup, measure the oil, then add the eggs and vanilla extract.  Mix well with a whisk.  Pour the oil-egg mixture into the apple mixture and stir well.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.  Stir well.  Add the raisins and pecans.  Pour the apple mixture into the flour mixture and stir until all dry ingredients are mixed in.  Don't overmix.

Use a 1/3-cup dry measuring cup to fill the muffin pan, dividing the batter evenly among the cups.

Bake muffins for 18 to 20 minutes, until lightly browned and the sides pull away from the muffin cups.  Cool in muffin pan for five minutes, and then remove muffins from pan and cool on a wire rack for about 30 minutes.

These freeze well, so you can save some for breakfast another day.

 

I find it sortof funny how many of our photos involve Maggie scheming about how she might steal our food.

in which i make stuff for thanksgiving

First of all, before I talk about Thanksgiving, I would just like to point out that even though I spend a third of my life feeding a baby and a third of every night keeping said baby entertained during his 4 a.m. I-am-ready-to-be-awake party, I still managed to make something today.

This got made during the thirty minutes I spent waiting for my pie to bake.  Ryan says it looks like a big bow in his hair, but, whatever, I like it.  Props to my blog friend Morgan for the idea.

Oh, yeah, AND I made a pie!  Vodka Pie, a Thanksgiving tradition.  Just in case you start worrying about what effects Jonah is going to see after I eat my allotted piece of pie, we only call it vodka pie because it drives my mom crazy, and because a quarter cup of vodka is the secret ingredient to most awesome pie crust ever.  Trust me, even I can't mess it up, and I don't do pie.  (We figured this out thanks to Cook's Illustrated Magazine, by the way.  The recipe can be found here.)

But, wait, I DO do pie, after all!  Look how pretty this is!

 

I'd like to say I won the family pie award, but I got outbaked by an old bachelor.  Mindy's boyfriend's pumpkin cheesecake was so much tastier than mine!  But still, mine was yum, so that's two major accomplishments (all things considered) in one day!

Thanksgiving was good.  We went out to my Grandma's house.  We haven't all gotten together out there for about eight years (our family generally travels on non-in-law holidays), so this was fun.

Jonah spent the day getting passed from person to person.  He's fairly laid back and was fine with this.  He got to hang out with Great-Grandma...

...and my cutest cousin Stephanie and my aunt Tracy...

...and my mom, of course...

...and Tauna, who really, really, really, really loves babies. 

Tauna is my mentally-challenged cousin.  She's only several years younger than I am, but is developmentally stuck at age, oh, I don't know, I would guess maybe four or five.  She's such a sweetheart.  She's always happy, and she just has a very tender heart, especially when it comes to things like horses, and puppies, and, of course, babies.  She's also very loud and boisterous and enthusiastic about everything.  She can be a little overwhelming, but she's great.  She kept advising whoever was holding Jonah on whatever they needed to do with him.  "I know all about babies," she kept saying.  And then she'd just snatch him away anyway and pack him around some more.  I have to admit that this was making me a bit nervous, and I kept following her around to make sure she didn't squeeze him too hard or anything.  But then, I figured, she's not ever going to be able to have her own babies, and that's just so sad, since she loves them so much.  So, better just to put my fears aside and let her have a few minutes of fun.  Of all the things I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving, I am the very most thankful to be a mom.  I really have a soft spot in my heart for any woman who misses out on having children in this life, Tauna included.

I'm also thankful to have a brother who has such a varied palette of facial hair options.  You just never know what he's going to look like when he comes home.  It's a surprise every time.

Currently, we are sporting the I-Am-Quigley-Down-Under look.

 

It's like Logan's facial hair has it's own persona.  Amazing.

Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving and that you had good tryptophan-induced naps.

You Can Thank Me Later

OK, first of all, I'm cheating by posting this now, because there really hasn't been any baking going on around here.  A) I spend a third of my day nursing, and B) I'm back in my pre-maternity jeans already and would like it to stay that way.  These cookies were baked for harvest lunches about a month ago, on a day when A) I wasn't spending a third of my day nursing and B) pre-maternity jeans were a far and distant dream.

All the same, you need this recipe, and I promised a couple of people I'd post it eventually.  So here it is.

 

These are seriously my new favorite cookie recipe.  Besides being so easy to make that it almost feels like cheating, Matthew had a lot of fun rolling out the little cookie dough balls with me.  Great mom and me activity.  Looking forward to when we have time for those again!

Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

Two 18 1/2-ounce packages devil's food cake mix (cheating, but still worth it)
4 eggs, lightly beaten
2/3 cup vegetable oil
One 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
3 cups sifted confectioners' sugar (you might want to add more)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract (mint extract would also be really tasty in these)

Preheat the oven to 350.  Line cookie sheet with parchment paper.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the cake mix, eggs, and oil.  Beat with an electric mixer at low speed until completely combined.  The batter will be very stiff.  Pinch of pieces of batter and roll into 1-inch balls.  Place 1 inch apart on the prepared cookie sheets and flatten slightly with fingertips.  Bake for 8 to 10 minutes (careful not to overbake, because you want these a bit chewy), until a slight indentation remains when lightly touched.  Remove immediately from the cookie sheets with a spatula and cool on wire racks.

In a small glass mixing bowl, combine the cream cheese and butter until completely blended.  Gradually add the sugar and vanilla and mix at low speed until the icing is smooth.  Spread icing on half the cookies and top with the remaining cookies.  Store in the refrigerator (they are better cold) in large resealable plastic bags.

A Little Birthday Update Before I Go Pop Out a Baby

So, T-Minus just a few hours now.  I'm off to have this baby bright and early tomorrow morning, long before any of you are up and out of bed (I hope!).  I've had contractions ten minutes apart for the last day and a half, and I've been crossing my legs and hoping he'd hold out until tomorrow when I'm scheduled, because I just don't know if Matthew would really love sharing a birthday and I can't stand the thought of ever having to bake two cakes in a day.

That's right.  Our priorities revolve around baking around here.  Speaking of baking...

An army of aliens were sitting on the kitchen cupboard this morning, waiting to invade Matthew's kindergarten class.

The one in charge specifically requested to meet with his teacher.  I think they were planning to discuss his academic progress, or something...

I'll have you know that I made these while the previously mentioned ten-minute-apart-contractions were going on, which totally freaked out my eighteen-year-old sister and her friend, who have not yet stopped making fun of me for saying, "Maybe I ought to go in and just see if they'll do my C-Section tonight so that it won't be the same day as Matthew's birthday.....

...but not until I finish my cupcakes."

Priorities, people, like I said before.

Oh, by the way, alien idea credit goes to this book, though I'm claiming all the credit for decorating-during-labor efforts.

The rest of the birthday has gone well.  There was a party a few days back at the Outer Limits Fun Center with some kindergarten friends.  I'm all for this sort of party.  The play place workers do everything for you.  Very handy when you're nine months pregnant and don't have the energy to wrangle your own kid, let alone everyone else's.

 

 

Dude, maybe you should brush your teeth or something...

 

Here's Matthew and Lexie, true love going on two years strong.  We're waiting for the engagement announcements any day here.

And funny story about this next little guy.  Matthew kept telling me about his "best friend" who played on the slides with him at recess, but he couldn't remember his name for the invitation.  So, I came to school one day to investigate, not wanting his best friend to get left out.  When I found him playing with a gigantic Mexican kid who I thought surely must be a fifth-grader, I just assumed that I had the wrong kid.  But nope, apparently his best friend is an enormous kindergartner named Hector, who has the cutest chubby cheeks I've ever seen.  When I asked him his name, he said, "Why do you want to know me name?"

"Because we want to invite you to a party," I told him.

"Oh!  You do!?  That would be so fun!  Hey, do you want to see my new winter coat?!"

OK, random.  But very cute.  And I don't think we will ever have to worry about Matthew getting picked on at recess, because Hector on his knees is nearly the size of Matthew standing.  Good friend to have around.

 

And there was also the usual fiesta of cake and way too many presents at Grandma's house, so we've about milked this one for all its worth.

We like to get mileage out of birthdays around here.

In other news, Shanda is in mourning because she sent her boyfriend Wilson off on a two-year Mormon mission to Ecuador today.  We figured she needed a little gift, too.

Wilson!!!!  WWWWIIIIIILLLLLLSSSOOOOOONNNN!

(I'm sure he gets so sick of that joke, but we all had a good laugh tonight.)

And, that's all folks.  I have a few little crafts to post at some point, but I think right now I'll go get a few hours of sleep before I go have a baby.  Wish me luck!

Perfect Pie Crust

Pssst.....You want to know the secret ingredient for perfect pie crust?  You might be a bit scandalized.

 

You ready?  Really?  Are you sure?

Shhh.....it's Vodka!

If you replace half of your water (your cooking water, silly, not your drinking water) with the secret ingredient, you will never have overly-chewy pie crust again.  Who knew?

This message brought to you by the Kendell women, one of whom really wishes we would stop calling it "Vodka Pie."

In which I show you my "food storage" and introduce Herman, Lucy, and Pinky Winky

So, if you have ever been to Idaho or Utah, you know that food storage is a big thing around here.  You won't find too many basements without a room piled floor to ceiling with rice and beans and canned everything.  We'll can it whether it ought to be canned or not.  I remember my Grandma Kendell's storage room was this magical place with shelves upon shelves upon shelves of home-bottled peaches and pears.  Sometimes I actually wonder if she's hoping for the apocalypse, when the entire family will move back to her house and live off her peaches.

Well, anyway, as far as food storage goes, here's how I think we should go about things...

 

Yep, I think we've pretty much covered the essentials here.  12 huge jars of jam in every flavor, 3 bottles of Butter Pecan Syrup, and 3 massive bottles of pie filling.  What more could you possibly need if you are starving?

I have to credit my friend Coleen for introducing me to the Country Canner.  (Speaking of things that maybe shouldn't be canned, do you know that you can get jam made out of pickle juice?!!)  I miss the Country Canner.  We used to make monthly trips up to Harrisonburg to stock up on things, and I brought about eight jars of jam when we moved here.  We finished off the last jar a few weeks ago, and that was a sad day at our house.  Luckily, they will ship you anything they've got, so my mom and sisters and I put in a huge order.  I'm sure the Mennonite ladies that run the place are still laughing, but we are happy to have our jam back.  You can't go back to Smuckers once you've gotten used to this stuff.

We're also still working on the yard.  Ryan took over taking care of the lawn this year, and I can't tell you how much I am enjoying this system.  I do not love taking care of the lawn.  I'm not even bothering with a garden this year (especially not after last summer's square foot gardening flop), and I haven't even planted my usual pots of herbs.  Like I said before, if it doesn't involve air conditioning, I want no part in it.

I did put together some cute flower pots, though.  Backyard Living (which, sadly, is going under) puts out flower pot "recipes" every issue, which makes things much easier for those of us who have not the foggiest clue how to put plants together.  I have two of these on my front step.

 

I think I'm going to name them Herman and Lucy.

And we also have some Pinky Winky bushes waiting to be put in the ground.  I'm not making this up, that's really what they are called.  Ryan picked them up, brought them home, and said, "You got these just because they are named Pinky Winky, didn't you."

 

Wouldn't you?

Summer Plans and Lemon Gooey

Today is officially our first day of summer.  Matthew's last day of preschool was yesterday, and he's already looking for ways to fill up his days.  He has an agenda for this summer, and this morning he asked me if I would help him make a list so that he wouldn't forget anything.  (Like me, he's a little bit more of a planner than a doer, but we'll try to chalk some things off his list this summer.)

 

 

(I love five-year-old handwriting.  Oh, I will miss those backwards letter and numbers when they go away.)

Anyway, he actually has quite a few more things on his summer to-do list that he has been rambling off.  His attention span, for this list, made it to six.  Not too shabby.  Really, this is the last summer that it will be just me and him (something that he is constantly reminding me of), so I hope we can make it a good one.  A daily trip to the swimming pool is definitely on my agenda, as well!  There are only so many summer activities that are actually enjoyable when you're pregnant!  Most of my acceptable activities involve air-conditioning even during a normal year, but the pool we can definitely do.  Camping?  Well, we'll see.

We've also been cooking.  I love having guinea pigs, and I got together with some women in my neighborhood last night for a gardening class, so I figured I'd try this Lemon Gooey recipe out on them.  It's like a lemon bar, only creamier.  (I can't be my own guinea pig, because I will eat the entire pan.)  It was a hit, so I'll share it.

Maggie, though she is my most faithful friend, is not going to get any, no matter how sneaky she thinks she is.

 

(Maybe I can snatch it while she puts her lens cap back on...)

Lemon Gooey

1 18.25-ounce box lemon cake mix
1 egg
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted

Filling:

1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 16-ounce box confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
zest and juice of 2 small lemons

Preheat oven to 350 F.  Lightly grease a 13x9x2-inch baking pan.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well.  Pat into the bottom of prepared pan and set aside.  Still using an electric mixer, beat cream cheese until smooth; add eggs and vanilla.  Dump in confectioners' sugar and beat well.  Reduce speed of mixer and slowly pour in butter, lemon zest, and lemon juice.  Mix well.  Pour filling onto cake mixture and spread evenly.  Bake for 40 to 50 minutes.  Don't be afraid to make a judgment call on the cooking time.  You want the center to be a little gooey, so don't bake it past that point!  Remove from oven, cool completely, and cut into squares.

Enjoy!