It is Monday, right? I'm having a hard time keeping my days straight lately.
Jonah woke up at 5 a.m. and screamed for 2 hours straight because he had a "yucky nose" and also because he wanted M&M's. This is the second time this week that Jonah has had a 5 a.m. M&M's tantrum. Lucky for me, Ryan is on Jonah duty right now. Poor Ryan.
Jonah also had a complete meltdown a few days ago when a FedEx box came and instead of having cakepops, it had a breastpump part. I have no idea why he thought the FedEx man would be bringing us a box of cakepops.
I am starting to wonder about almost two-year-old logic.
I am starting to wonder if breastfeeding is possibly pointless. Is it really worth sticking it out when the only feedback I am getting from the breastfeeding experts is, "Well, maybe someday she will get it..."? Also, I am really starting to hate all things Medela.
And yet, I am really sad that this isn't going well. Part of it is a stubbornness thing. I hate to be defeated by breastfeeding twice (even though I don't see a lick of difference between the health/brains/development of my two boys). And although I didn't expect to like it with Jonah, I was actually sad when he finally quit.
I have 8 loads of laundry sitting in my hallway.
My sink is overflowing with dishes.
I have already changed seven diapers today.
I still haven't eaten breakfast.
Jonah has no pants on because he has no pants.
And I am still in my pajamas.
My cell phone is beeping at me again because I still haven't figured out where I put my cell phone charger when I got home from the hospital.
My dog has lost all of her brain cells. I am seriously debating sending her to a new home if she doesn't find them quickly. My mom once had a dog that ran away out of frustration over a new baby. How horrible is it that I sometimes wish Maggie would run away lately? She is being completely neurotic and annoying and generally bad.
Mostly, all of the above is happening because I refuse to put this baby down. I love her. Laundry will wait. Pajamas are fine. Dogs are dogs.
Why do babies only stay newborns long enough to blink? It's so sad. I think pregnancy needs to go faster and the newborn phase needs to go slower.
She sleeps ALL OF THE TIME. Like, seriously, she never wakes up.
OK, she woke up long enough for me to take this picture.
Also, this one...
But, mostly, she is almost always asleep.
Also, is it a boy/girl thing that she is super quiet and mellow when the boys definitely weren't?
Jonah disappeared this morning. I couldn't find him anywhere. I was actually starting to panic. And then I found him. Here.
He had crawled into Matthew's closet, closed the doors, made himself a nest on the floor out of his blankie, and was nearly asleep when I found him.
It's the ugliest blankie ever, one we got as a gift from great-grandma when he was a newborn, but it has always been his favorite. He calls it his "night night." He is currently having yet another meltdown, this time over his blankie being in the washer, where he can't get it. He is banging on my laundry room door and screaming, "I see night-night! I see night-night now! Mom!!! Moooommmmmmeeeee!!!!"
I have explained to him that it's dirty and needs washed. Again with the almost-two-year-old logic.
I remember Matthew being oddly attached to an ugly blanket at this age, too.
I have eaten way too much of this in the last two days...
I also read this book. I didn't love it.
And now I'm going to read this book.
When you spend all of your time breastfeeding and pumping, you have a lot of time to read.
That's all. I'm going to do something productive now. Like laundry. And more pumping. Joy.