1. Actually, it's not 4 a.m. It's 6 a.m. But I've been up since 4 a.m. Jonah still frequently wakes up wanting a bottle at 4 a.m. I am not a fan of this trend.
2. Jonah was a great little nurser, but I quit when he was 9 months old because his growth curve flat-lined and my entire family panicked. So now, he has little use for formula during the day. We can barely get him to drink it. He is too busy for silly things like drinking formula. But at 4 a.m.? Must have bottle. Right now. Will cry it out for as long as it takes.
2.5. It's times like these that I miss breastfeeding and co-sleeping.
2.75. There aren't any times that Ryan is sad that I am done breastfeeding and that he is therefore done co-sleeping. Ryan is totally OK not co-sleeping.
3. I probably would have gone back to sleep, but our cross-the-street neighbors decided that 4 a.m. was a good time to test out their brand spanking new car alarm and stereo system.
4. It's really hard to sleep when there is a persistent "thump thump thump squeee-a-wee-a-wee! thump thump thump" coming from across the street.
5. I don't know what is the deal with those neighbors. They seem like nice people.
6. Except that animal control always seems to be over at their house because they can't keep their dogs contained.
7. My dog busts out all the time, so I don't particularly care about this, and I kindof actually feel bad for them that someone is always calling and complaining just because their dog looks meaner than my dog (but probably isn't).
8. Some acquaintances of ours are their rental managers, and say that of all of their renters, our neighbors get the pain-in-the-butt award.
9. Once, their tiny kids were out playing in the road, and nobody answered the door. The little girl told me that nobody was home, and that she was watching her brother. I think she is four. About fifteen minutes later, her mom finally answered the door, but was clearly not with it. Maybe she had just been asleep. In any case, she had no idea that her kids were out in the road.
10. Once, when we were saying our goodbyes to some visiting friends out in Lexington, a policeman stopped by my house to inform me that Matthew had wandered out into the road in front of our house just as he was passing by. We thought he was in watching Teletubbies. Clearly, I am not going to be the one to pass judgment on my neighbor, because we've all been there. Or, at least, I have.
11. All the same, they just seem like they are struggling. Nice people, but struggling. Don't quite have it all together.
12. One way or another, I wish they'd find some other time of day to test out their stereo equipment.
12.5. It's probably not entirely their fault. I was already wide awake thinking about how stupid it was that I didn't carefully read the updated exhibitor rule book for the state fair and wasted the whole day (and a lot of money) printing and framing photos that were all the wrong sizes. Sometimes I am so dumb...
12.75. While I was failing at putting photos into the fair, I ran into an ex-boyfriend's mom. She told me he was getting divorced. That made me sad. And also glad that I decided to marry Ryan. Every day something happens that makes me so glad that I'm married to Ryan.
13. Jonah is awake now, demanding daily bottle #2, and he is mad, mad, mad. Yesterday, I lowered his crib mattress because he figured out he could climb over the top rail by bunching up a quilt and standing on top of it.
14. He is extremely grouchy about this new development.
15. He is also not a fan of the child gate at the top of the stairs.
16. Or any other sort of confinement, for that matter.
17. And he refuses to eat baby food. Or anything that resembles baby food. Even if it's the same thing you are eating.
18. I was just looking through some patterns and found this one.
I bought it after my first doctor appointment. Back when everything seemed fine. I was hoping for a girl this time.
19. I think I'm doing OK with this, all things considered, but then I find things like this and it makes me sad.
20. I guess it's probably a good sign that I'm sad about the sewing.
21. Maybe I'll just make them for Lollipop. Lollipop's mom desperately needs to update her blog. Just sayin', Jen.
22. Today I'm supposed to play the organ in church. I don't want to.
23. And I am the boss of me, so I think I won't.
24. It's the hymns. I do OK until they sing the hymns. And last time this happened I could sit in the back and nobody would notice me.
25. But when you are the organ player, it's pretty certain that everyone at church can see you when they are singing the hymns.
26. So I think I will call a replacement and just stay at home today.
27. I will say one thing about having miscarriages and fertility problems and all that mess. It makes you love your children extra, even when they wake you up at 4 a.m.
28. I ate a half a pan of brownies all by myself this week.
29. Next week, it's time to get back to life and back to the gym and back to cleaning my house and getting things done, and it's definitely time to quit eating brownies for every meal.
30. I don't even like brownies.
31. A giant spider just walked across my desk. So, I think I'm done here.